Its not you, its me, is probably the most textbook breakup line there is.
It’s also probably the worst line anyone can give you because, well, it sounds like a pity lie.
To be honest, Ive always thought it was a lie people told just to make their soon-to-be exes feel better.
But a new Reddit thread is making it look like I might have been wrong all this time. When asked if they’ve ever said, It’s not you, its me, and it, a surprising amount of dudes admitted that they have.
Follow along for their frankly pretty heartbreaking stories here:
Yep. I’m a miserable asshole who occasionally has gleaming moments of glory. I feel like it’s unfair when I charm someone during that little moment where the sun breaks through, only to put them through the reality of what life is like with me.
For sure. Before I realized that I need a lot of time after a relationship ends to get my head straight, this was the result when I would try to date too early.
Absolutely. I mean, I want what I want, don’t know if it’s right or wrong to want it, and you might be offering me exactly what someone else wants, but not me at that particular time. The fact that I was starting to dread her phone calls and look at them as a chore, to me, has to do with how am, and my lack of desire for a certain kind of relationship, and perhaps inability to be connected to someone like that. I assume some others don’t share those same hangups, and she’ll find one of those and it will work better.
Yeah, but they still think you’re full of shit and that there’s something wrong with them.
She had a passive aggressive mood now and then, and I just really can’t handle that because of a past love that ruined everything by doing that shit to an extreme and constant level.
I told her she didn’t have to change to be normal, but my crazy just would not fit her crazy, and her little thing now and then would cause a big problem with me that would last for days.
She was great tho, wish I didn’t have that scar inside, but I found someone later.
Oh yeah. I was insanely jealous, and horribly depressed. Still am, but at least it’s only affecting me now.
Yep. Depression and relationships didn’t mix well at all for me. I was at a point where I needed to start putting myself first to get better and I wasn’t going to be that kind of person to someone that deserves someone who prioritizes them instead.
Yes. She was fun, adorable, kind, and very into me. Into me in a way I wished women would have been in the past. The problem was that she was a rebound and we both knew it. There was a bit of immaturity from her during conflicts, but otherwise a very devoted friend and partner.
I couldn’t get my head around taking it to the next level. It was not a fit and I was wasting her time if I were to continue.
She was devastated. It hurt me so hard to hurt her at all. I truly wish the absolute best for her.
5 years into a relationship and I realized that I would never be happy with this girl. She had no ambition and was always going to be stuck supporting her mother and, by proxy, her three useless brothers who never moved out. She was one of the best people I had ever met though, really sweet and caring. In the end I decided that she deserved someone better.
Yes. Had to break up with my first girlfriend due to my depression issues at the time. It was hard, but it was definitely affecting our relationship, so I had to end things up for the sake of our wellbeing.
I have indeed. And it was true on both occasions.
The first time, I told her that I wasn’t a good long term bet. I was great at being a fling, but I sucked at being a boyfriend. I was emotionally unavailable, aloof, unwilling to commit, and at the time my work involved a lot of travel. I knew that what she wanted was something that I wasn’t going to be able to provide. It would have been cruel to pretend otherwise just because being with her made me feel good.
The second time, well I was hung up on someone else. I didn’t want to admit it, but as time went on it became undeniable. It’s not fair to string someone along while your thoughts are clearly with someone another person.
Above all, I think everyone has the right to know where they stand. I’ve tried to keep that in my mind with all my adult relationships.
Yep. I realized I wasn’t treating her right so I broke up with her. She deserved to be with someone who was in a better place emotionally who could value her as a person. She was amazing, and she made somebody else an amazing wife. I took a two year break from dating and got help.
Yeah she was great. Fun, funny, hot, whole deal. But I was acutely aware that I was heading into my senior year of college and wanted to bask in the last moments of f**kboydom
I was on track to marry my ex. She was a gorgeous, successful woman who loved everything about me.But I was falling out of love with her and I couldn’t find out why.
I knew that I was eventually going to have to break it off, but it was very difficult for me as she was the ideal of who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but I found it ultimately wasn’t a good fit.
I ended up having to break up with her, and she ended up having to be the one to console me since I felt so terrible, like I had wasted several years of her life
So maybe its time to cut that guy who told you it wasn’t you some slack. Unless he’s that guy who had to end it with her to be a f**kboy that guy can just go.
Read more: http://elitedaily.com/dating/men-reveal-its-not-you-its-me/1882646/
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